Once in the while, this ‘scary’ feeling will interfere into my mind…
Apa kesudahan perjuangan PhD. aku ..LULUS ke.. dapat MPhil. aje ker .. or the worst thing is GAGAL
Kalau ikut kan ke’successful’ an research….mungkin aku akan failed, sebab half of the research objective tak tercapai pun.
If the evaluation considering how much effort that I put to make the things work, tp still tak berjaya …. aku masih ada harapan
Personally, after all the years, me myself still don’t know how bad I want the PhD., kekadang aku rasa kalau fail pun aku OK jer… sebab pada aku tak ada benda yg aku tak buat dlm usaha aku nak jadikan research aku ni berjaya ..kalau scale effort tu 100%..aku rasa aku dah capai 99.99%. So, nothing to regret about…. mungkin memang aku unlucky or I’m not brilliant enough which I cannot help it :). Kalau ada rezeki aku..insyaAllah lulus ..kalau gagal..aku percaya rezeki aku kat tempat lain.
Cuma kalau aku fail… byk persoalan yg menanti…
Camana dgn nasib aku di UKM.. kena buang kerja ke??
Manala aku nak cari duit RM 700K untuk bayar balik semua scholarship aku
Will all the closest people of mine still stay behind my back?.. and the list goes on …
Well, I won’t care with what other people will gossiping about me.... because they never know..
All this harsh imaginations make me remember what type of person I am suatu masa dahulu…
Used to be in ‘comfort zone’ for 25 years of my life before … make me ungrateful person. Always whining around about the unnecessary thing such ….how bad I want to drive the HONDA car, tapi tak der duit... complaining, bengang, kecik hati dan sebagainya with surround people who is not nice to me ( well, semua org pun ada perangai sendiri… aku sendiri pun bukan baik sangat) ..dan macam-macam lagi benda tak penting..
Facing a difficult PhD. life …. force me to learn how I should appreciate what I already have and not to mourning around about what I don’t have…
Semoga hidup aku dipermudahkan Allah…Amin
4 comments:
amin..semoga lulus aku doakan
dal
i always be a silent reader, but this time i can't ..i want to leave a comment, come on dal..you can do it
go dal...
phd is not the end of our life, just focus on what you are doing now, whatever it is, you already put much effort on that.
i always pray for us to be strong until the end, time is not an issue, the most important thing is we have to finish it, as we strong enough to make a start.
Chemistry world is not an easy as we thought before.
thanks for the support... really appreciate it
aku pun doakan, aku sangat faham situasi "terjepit" camni..walaupun aku blom sampai phd lagi..
semoga semua berjalan lancar..amin..
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